people who are in their 20 or 30s complaining about ‘kids these days’ is super funny to me, like i saw someone complaining about how kids at some pool were playing marco polo but with ‘hashtag’ ‘yolo’ and if that’s not funny to you then what the hell sucked the joy out of your life
look if you unironically say ‘money can’t buy happiness’ then either you’ve never faced a real financial struggle or you’ve achieved enlightenment, because goddamn does financial security feel an awful lot like happiness when it’s something you’re not used to
Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.
i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process
is there anything weirder than waking up after a dream and all the details are still fresh in your mind so you’re just like what the FUCK WAS THAT WHY DID I THINK THAT WAS NORMAL HOW DID DREAM ME NOT QUESTION THAT
I once had a dream in which someone asked me “how can you tell this isn’t a dream” and I was like, “of course it’s not a dream: I have four hands”
THE REASON I GAVE FOR THINKING THIS DREAM WAS REALITY WAS THE FACT I HAD TWO EXTRA HANDS
two robots who are girlfriends and one is super high tech and the other is kind of a cheap poorly made model and shes really self conscious compared to her shiny new state of the art girlfriend but the high tech girlfriend is like shhshhshh no baby ur adorable glitches and faulty parts and all
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people knowing that i’ve cried and people seeing me cry are two different things like i don’t care if people know i’ve cried because like everybody cries but when it comes to people actually being there and seeing me cry in the moment??? no. nope. nah. no thanks. i’m good. no thank you. let’s not
Emma passes away and Will is telling the story of Glee club and how they helped him meet Emma when the kids are all “WTF this whole story was about how you were in luuuuv with Rachel” and he goes to find her and holds up her old MVP award and they bang.
The best super power ever has to be the power of always being right.Think about it, you say you can do a backflip, then you can do a backflip. You say you are rich, and BAM! You are now rich. Want to be attractive? SHAZAAM just say you’re attractive and then be attractive.